{"id":22676,"date":"2026-10-28T23:58:29","date_gmt":"2026-10-28T22:58:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/?p=22676"},"modified":"2026-11-02T10:57:49","modified_gmt":"2026-11-02T09:57:49","slug":"the-leaders-mirror-learning-to-see-yourself-so-you-can-lead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/en\/the-leaders-mirror-learning-to-see-yourself-so-you-can-lead\/","title":{"rendered":"The leader\u2019s mirror: learning to see yourself so you can lead"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"22676\" class=\"elementor elementor-22676\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0a6b596 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"0a6b596\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-54e524b\" data-id=\"54e524b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fdece20 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"fdece20\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e34ce2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7e34ce2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h2>Self-awareness, feedback, and authentic leadership<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f669f03 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f669f03\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>That moment when someone discovers that the image they have of themselves doesn\u2019t match the image others have of them is one of the most uncomfortable experiences in coaching.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>And also one of the most valuable.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Because there\u2019s something many executives find difficult to accept: you don\u2019t lead based on who you think you are. You lead based on how others perceive you. Your team doesn\u2019t have access to your intentions, only to your actions, your tone, and your silences.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>The problem is that the more responsibility you take on, the harder it becomes to see yourself clearly. In this article, I want to talk to you about the mirror every leader needs: why it gets foggy, what distorts it, and how you can begin to clear it.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2446344 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2446344\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/Diseno-sin-titulo-12-rvgvugmr443mt8lbwclq2ia9sjar4jjjqrdoz4azww.png\" title=\"Disen\u0303o sin ti\u0301tulo\" alt=\"Manos que se acercan y se reflejan en un espejo de marco ornamentado sobre la hierba, una met\u00e1fora del autoconocimiento y la percepci\u00f3n personal.\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1419668 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1419668\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f68e840\" data-id=\"f68e840\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bcdc85a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bcdc85a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h2>The higher you climb, the foggier the mirror becomes<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8e2644b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8e2644b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div>When you were part of the team, information reached you unfiltered. A colleague would tell you that a meeting had been a disaster, someone would let you know that your email hadn\u2019t gone over well, and you would adjust as you went.<\/div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><p>With every step up in responsibility, that flow changes. Not because people stop having opinions, but because they stop sharing them with you. The reasons are understandable:<\/p><ul><li><div><div><p>Power carries weight. Your decisions affect performance reviews, projects, and opportunities. Telling you something uncomfortable comes at a cost that not everyone is willing to pay.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Fear of your reaction. If you\u2019ve ever responded defensively to criticism, your team remembers. And they learn.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>People-pleasing. The higher you climb, the more people tell you what they think you want to hear, sometimes without even realizing it.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Limited availability. You\u2019re not always easy to reach. You\u2019re busy with multiple priorities, leaving little time for meaningful conversations.<\/p><\/div><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/li><\/ul><p>The result is paradoxical: the person who most needs honest information about their impact is the one who receives the least. And when few people\u2014and sometimes no one\u2014tell you what you need to know, it\u2019s easy to conclude that everything is going well.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Your team\u2019s silence doesn\u2019t necessarily mean agreement. Often, it means caution.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-004aede elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"004aede\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dd3088c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"dd3088c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h2>What you see and what others see<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cc05484 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"cc05484\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div>There\u2019s a classic model I often use to explain this: the Johari Window, developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. It divides what we know about ourselves into four areas:<\/div><div><ul><li><div><div><p>Open area: what you know about yourself and others can see, too.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Hidden area: what you know about yourself but don\u2019t reveal.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Blind area: what others see in you that you don\u2019t see yourself.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Unknown area: what no one has discovered yet, neither you nor others.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><\/ul><p>For a leader, the most important area is the blind area. This is where the habits your team discusses among themselves\u2014but you\u2019re unaware of\u2014live: the way you interrupt, the expression on your face when you dislike something, or the urgency in your late-night emails.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Self-awareness isn\u2019t enough; we need other people\u2019s perspectives to discover who we really are.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-952a4f0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"952a4f0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-22659\" alt=\"Dos manos sostienen unas gafas frente al cielo azul, una imagen que simboliza la claridad de visi\u00f3n y el autoconocimiento en el liderazgo.\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3.png 1600w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3-300x225.png 300w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3-1024x768.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3-768x576.png 768w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3-1536x1152.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/La-eficiencia-que-ofrece-la-IA-es-real-y-bienvenida.-Pero-la-etica-no-puede-ser-una-variable-de-ajuste-3-440x330.png 440w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c141533 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c141533\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h4>Intention versus impact<\/h4><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b842cf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2b842cf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The blind spot often comes down to the gap between what you intend and the impact you have. Here are some examples I frequently see:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-26b0706 eael-table-align-center eael-dt-th-align-left elementor-widget elementor-widget-eael-data-table\" data-id=\"26b0706\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"eael-data-table.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eael-data-table-wrap\" data-table_id=\"26b0706\" id=\"eael-data-table-wrapper-26b0706\" data-custom_responsive=\"false\">\n\t\t\t<table class=\"tablesorter eael-data-table center\" id=\"eael-data-table-26b0706\">\n\t\t\t    <thead>\n\t\t\t        <tr class=\"table-header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            <th class=\"\" id=\"\" colspan=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"data-table-header-text\">What the leader intends<\/span><\/th>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t\t            <th class=\"\" id=\"\" colspan=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"data-table-header-text\">What the team experiences<\/span><\/th>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t\t        <\/tr>\n\t\t\t    <\/thead>\n\t\t\t  \t<tbody>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBeing demanding\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThat nothing is ever good enough\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBeing available\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNot leaving room for others to make decisions\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tRunning efficient meetings\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThat there\u2019s no room to voice doubts aloud\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tProtecting the team from pressure\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td colspan=\"\" rowspan=\"\" class=\"\" id=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"td-content-wrapper\"><div class=\"td-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThat they\u2019re not being told what\u2019s going on\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/tr>\n\t\t\t        \t\t\t    <\/tbody>\n\t\t\t<\/table>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t  \t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e377dbc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e377dbc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>None of these intentions is bad. The problem is that your team doesn\u2019t respond to your intentions; they respond to your impact. And if you don\u2019t understand your impact, you can\u2019t adjust it.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f0a8781 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f0a8781\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h3>The three mirrors that distort a leader\u2019s image<\/h3><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-30ba7a1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"30ba7a1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><p>Having a mirror isn\u2019t enough. The type of mirror you use matters, too. In the coaching processes I work with, three mirrors come up that distort the image in very different ways.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h4>1. The mirror of complacency<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>It only reflects what you do well. This is the mirror of someone who has been delivering strong results for years and has stopped asking themselves how they achieve them. Every success confirms that their leadership style works, and every problem is explained by external factors: the market, the organizational structure, or the team.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>The warning sign: you struggle to remember the last time you changed something about the way you lead because someone pointed it out to you.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h4>2. The mirror of self-criticism<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>It\u2019s the opposite, and far more common than you might think among executives. It only reflects what\u2019s wrong. Someone who looks in this mirror can receive ten positive comments and spend the rest of the day dwelling on the one critical remark. One observation: I tend to see this more often in women executives than in men. I\u2019ll leave it at that\u2026<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>It may look like humility, but it\u2019s also a distorted image. And it comes at a cost: a leader who doesn\u2019t recognize their strengths doesn\u2019t know how to draw on them and often expects their team to meet the same standards of perfection they demand of themselves.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h4>3. The mirror of results<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>This is the most deceptive one because it appears objective. The reasoning is simple: if the numbers look good, I must be leading well.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>But results measure what has been achieved, not how it was achieved or at what cost. A team can meet its targets while accumulating stress and exhaustion, losing talent, or stopping the flow of new ideas. The dashboard doesn\u2019t capture any of this until it\u2019s too late.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>All three mirrors have something in common: they let you look at yourself without having to ask anyone else. And that\u2019s precisely why they fall short.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bb5813a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bb5813a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h3>Asking for feedback (and being ready to hear the answer)<\/h3><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a4ba309 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a4ba309\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><p>If your blind spot is what others see but you don\u2019t, there\u2019s only one way to reduce it: ask. But asking for feedback is harder than it sounds, and most leaders do it in a way that guarantees they won\u2019t get anything useful.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h4>How to ask for it<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>\u201cHow am I doing?\u201d is a question that almost always gets the same answer: \u201cFine.\u201d It\u2019s too broad and too risky for the person answering. A specific question focused on a behavior and a particular situation works much better:<\/p><ul><li><div><div><p>\u201cWhat could I have done differently in yesterday\u2019s meeting to encourage more participation?\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>\u201cIf you had to point out one thing about the way I communicate that makes your job harder, what would it be?\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>\u201cIs there anything you hold back from telling me because you\u2019re not sure how I\u2019ll react?\u201d<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><\/ul><p>Timing matters, too. Asking during a team meeting is not the same as asking in a calm, one-on-one conversation where you create a safe environment.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h4>How to receive it<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>This is where it\u2019s decided whether people will give you feedback again. The natural reaction to criticism is to explain, justify, or qualify. But every time you do, the person who dared to speak up learns that it isn\u2019t worth it.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Three simple guidelines:<\/p><ol><li><div><div><p>Listen until they finish without interrupting or preparing your defense while the other person is speaking.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Ask questions to understand, not to argue back: \u201cCan you give me an example?\u201d \u201cHow did that affect you?\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p>Say thank you, even if you disagree. Saying thank you doesn\u2019t mean agreeing; it means recognizing the value of someone being willing to tell you.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><\/ol><h4>How to close the loop<\/h4><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>This is the step almost everyone forgets. A few weeks later, go back to that person and tell them what you\u2019ve done with their feedback. Even if it\u2019s just a small change. It\u2019s the most effective way to show your team that telling you the truth makes a difference.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4c8946e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4c8946e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h2>Authentic leadership isn\u2019t about saying \u201cthat\u2019s just who I am\u201d<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a296f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7a296f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>In recent years, authentic leadership has become a widely used term. And with it has come a misunderstanding: confusing authenticity with not having to change.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>\u201cThat\u2019s just how I am. I\u2019m direct.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t like sugarcoating things.\u201d \u201cPeople who know me already know what I\u2019m like.\u201d These are phrases I hear often, and they almost always serve as a shield. They turn a personal trait into an untouchable identity and shift the responsibility for adapting onto the team.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Authenticity, properly understood, is something else. It\u2019s consistency between what you value, what you say, and what you do. And you can\u2019t assess that consistency from the inside. You may believe you value your team\u2019s autonomy while, at the same time, reviewing every decision they make. Only someone observing you can point out that contradiction.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>That\u2019s why self-awareness and authentic leadership go hand in hand. You\u2019re not more authentic simply by showing yourself as you are, but by understanding who you really are\u2014including the parts you can\u2019t see\u2014and consciously deciding what you want to preserve and what you want to change.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>Being authentic doesn\u2019t exempt you from evolving. It commits you to doing so in a way that stays true to your values.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9e8d44e elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"9e8d44e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-980fa9d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"980fa9d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h3>An exercise for this week: three people, one question<\/h3><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-cf3bbfe elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"cf3bbfe\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7dd0087f\" data-id=\"7dd0087f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2ec4f9db elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2ec4f9db\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><p>Reading about self-awareness won\u2019t change anything unless you put it into action. Here\u2019s a simple exercise you can try over the next few days:<\/p><ol><li><div><div><p><strong>Choose three people<\/strong> who see you lead from different perspectives. For example, someone on your team, a peer at your level, and someone you report to.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p><strong>Ask them the same question<\/strong> in a one-on-one conversation: \u201cWhat\u2019s one thing I do that helps you do your job well, and one thing I do that makes it harder?\u201d<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p><strong>Listen without defending yourself<\/strong> and say thank you, whatever their answer.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p><strong>Write down what surprised you<\/strong>. Not what you already knew, but what you didn\u2019t expect. That\u2019s where your blind spot lies.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><li><div><div><p><strong>Choose just one thing to work on<\/strong> over the next month, then go back to those people and tell them what you\u2019re doing about it.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/li><\/ol><p>If two out of the three give you the same answer, it\u2019s probably not an isolated opinion. It\u2019s a pattern.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-63addeb5\" data-id=\"63addeb5\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-73d1256d elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"73d1256d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"860\" height=\"1350\" src=\"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-22663\" alt=\"Tres iconos de bocadillos de di\u00e1logo en relieve sobre un fondo azul verdoso, s\u00edmbolo de la comunicaci\u00f3n y el intercambio de ideas en el liderazgo.\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10.png 860w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10-191x300.png 191w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10-652x1024.png 652w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10-768x1206.png 768w, https:\/\/www.meritxellobiols.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Diseno-sin-titulo-1-10-440x691.png 440w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 860px) 100vw, 860px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4c649ce elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4c649ce\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-c108bfb\" data-id=\"c108bfb\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f3c6f8f elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f3c6f8f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div><div><h2>A clear mirror<\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bf07231 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bf07231\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Learning to see yourself isn\u2019t an exercise in vanity or self-criticism. It\u2019s a prerequisite for guiding others. Because you can\u2019t lead anyone to a better place if you don\u2019t know exactly where you\u2019re starting from.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>The more responsibility you have, the more you need a mirror free from conflicting interests: someone who reflects what they see with respect, without fear or people-pleasing. That\u2019s a big part of the work we do in a coaching process.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>And I\u2019ll leave you with a question: if your team could describe your leadership style with complete honesty, would their description match the one you would give yourself?<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>If the answer leaves you uncertain, perhaps it\u2019s a good time to take a closer look at yourself. If you\u2019d like some support along the way, you can email me at\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:obiols@coachingbcn.com\">obiols@coachingbcn.com<\/a> and we can talk.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 Self-awareness, feedback, and authentic leadership That moment when someone discovers that the image they have of themselves doesn\u2019t match the image others have of them is one of the most uncomfortable experiences in coaching. \u00a0 And also one of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":22671,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[100],"tags":[669,607,565,562],"class_list":["post-22676","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-profesional","tag-conscious-leadership","tag-emotional-intelligence-en","tag-executive-coaching-en","tag-leadership-development"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Self-awareness in leadership: the leader\u2019s mirror<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The higher you climb, the less often people tell you the truth. 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