If you’ve made it this far looking for this, it’s probably not out of curiosity. There’s usually something behind it: a conversation you’ve been putting off for weeks, a team that just won’t get going, a promotion that has left you in a position you no longer recognize, or simply the feeling that you’re performing below what you know you’re capable of.
At the same time, you may have a reasonable question: will a coach actually help me with this, or am I spending money on something that will sort itself out?
It’s a legitimate question, and it deserves an honest answer, not a sales pitch. So let’s get into it: there are situations where a leadership coach can genuinely make a difference, and there are situations where you don’t need one and what you need is something else. Knowing the difference can save you time, money, and frustration.
A leadership coach doesn’t tell you what you should do. That’s the most common misconception, and the one behind most disappointments.
It’s not consulting. A consultant analyzes your business and gives you a recommendation. A coach works with you, not with your organizational chart.
It’s not mentoring. A mentor shares their experience with you (“this is how I did it”). A coach helps you find your own answer, which doesn’t have to be the same as theirs.
It’s not training. Training gives you knowledge or skills you didn’t have before. Coaching works on something you usually already know, but still aren’t doing.
It’s not therapy. Even though personal issues may come into the conversation (and they do), the focus is on how you lead and the results it produces.
What a coach does do is put you face-to-face with your own patterns—the ones that worked for years but are now costing you dearly. It’s difficult to recognize them on your own because they are precisely the parts of ourselves we tend to take for granted.
This is the most common one. What got you here—your technical expertise, your speed at solving problems, your judgment—isn’t exactly what you need now. Your job has stopped being about solving things yourself and become about getting other people to solve them, and no one has explained how to do that. This is where coaching can be highly effective, because the problem isn’t about personality: it’s about having the right repertoire of skills and behaviors.
Delegating. Saying no. Having an uncomfortable conversation without softening it until it loses its meaning. If you can name it and it’s still there, the problem isn’t a lack of information—you already know what you should do. It’s something that gets triggered at exactly the wrong moment and stops you from doing it. That’s classic coaching territory.
You deliver, you get things done, the numbers look good. And yet good people are leaving, meetings are tense, or you notice that people tell you less than they used to. It’s the easiest signal to ignore because it doesn’t show up on the dashboard. It’s often the most expensive warning sign to disregard.
It works, yes. But at the cost of long hours, constant tension, and a level of disconnection that is affecting your personal and family life. A leadership coach isn’t there to make you work less; they’re there to help you stop paying such a high personal price for your level of performance.
The more responsibility you have, the fewer people around you with whom you can openly express doubt without consequences. Not your team, not your boss, and usually not even your partner. Having a neutral, confidential space to think things through isn’t a luxury; at a certain level, it’s basic infrastructure.
He had people on his team who were not performing at the level their roles required, and he addressed this through aggression. In a company with a culture that did not tolerate this kind of communication, complaints reached HR. He was on the list to join the Executive Committee, but with that management style, it wasn’t going to happen. The company was the one that proposed the coaching process. The difference was that he genuinely embraced it: he realized that he lacked the communication and leadership skills needed to manage these conflicts, and that this was holding him back. He met the objectives of the process and, once the sessions were over, he was the one who asked HR to extend it. They approved it because the results were already becoming noticeable.
He had exceptional intellectual ability and training, as well as an unusual level of maturity for his age. But experience cannot be improvised, and his team had years of hands-on expertise that he didn’t have. The CEO proposed coaching with a clear objective: to accelerate his development of seniority. He came to each session with clearly defined objectives. We always worked on concrete situations: analyzing those he had already experienced and preparing for those that lay ahead. His development was remarkable and successful, both for him and for his team and company.
They had ideas and innovation proposals, but lacked the confidence to put them forward to their manager and the CEO. They wanted to become more assertive. We prepared each important conversation before it happened: how to present their projects, how to make a case for them to the people with the authority to approve them, and how to build credibility. With that preparation, they negotiated a salary increase and, later, their career growth within the company. They achieved both.
Three different starting points—one driven by circumstances, one proposed by the company, and one by personal choice—and the same underlying pattern: intrinsic motivation, coaching focused on their real-life situations, and the effort and courage to put into practice outside the sessions what we worked on during them. That translated into better results, greater personal satisfaction and well-being, and a genuine opportunity to grow within their company.
This is the part that almost nobody writes about, and it’s just as important as the one above.
If your team isn’t performing because the objectives are contradictory, you don’t have enough people, or two different managers are giving conflicting instructions, no amount of personal work is going to fix it. You’ll leave every session with greater awareness and the same problem. Instead: review roles, priorities, and expectations, and have an honest conversation with whoever has the authority to change them.
Looking for a job, preparing your CV, exploring career options. These aren’t things coaching can solve. Instead: work with a career advisor who can give you practical guidance, information, and direction to help you make an informed decision. Coaching can come afterwards, for example, if you need to develop certain skills, build self-confidence, or make the decision that best fits you.
Coaching requires the person receiving it to actually want to engage in the process. If it’s an imposed requirement, or a polite way of pointing out that you don’t fit in, it won’t work—and you’ll probably come away feeling that you were the problem. Instead: have a clear conversation with your manager about exactly what is expected of you. If, after that conversation, you still want to go ahead with coaching, then it may be the right time.
Grief, anxiety that doesn’t go away, sustained exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest. A good coach will recognize this and tell you: this isn’t their area. Instead: seek support from a mental health professional. Coaching can come afterwards, and it tends to work much better then.
A businesswoman at the helm of an established and prestigious company initially came to work on her leadership skills. On paper, she seemed like a perfect fit.
But in our very first conversation, it became clear that the real issue was something else. Again and again, she went back to her childhood, her relationship problems with her mother, and a lack of self-confidence that she had learned to hide extremely well—so well that her results were very good—but which had left her with severely damaged self-esteem and an overwhelming level of anxiety.
That’s when I realized that what she needed was psychotherapy, and I told her so: I wasn’t the right person for her at that moment. Coaching focuses on the present and the future, and in order to do that, she first needed to properly address what was coming from the past. I recommended that she start with a mental health professional. Once these issues had been addressed, coaching could then have a meaningful role to play.
Even if you’re in one of the five situations above, the process only works if three things are in place. It’s worth considering them before hiring anyone:
You want to change something about yourself, not make other people change. If the goal is “I want my team to be more engaged,” the process will take you somewhere different from where you expect: towards what you are doing that contributes to that situation. If that feels unfair to you, you’re probably not ready for coaching yet.
You can genuinely make the time for it. Not just for the sessions, but for what happens between them, because that’s where the real change takes place. A process squeezed in between meetings leads to pleasant conversations and no results.
There is trust between you and your coach. This isn’t just a nice extra; it’s a fundamental condition of the process. If you can’t tell your coach what you wouldn’t tell anyone else, you’re paying for a polite conversation. That’s why it’s worth having an initial conversation before committing to anything, and making sure you feel safe and comfortable with your coach.
Answer them quickly and honestly. There’s no score; what matters is what they bring up for you as you read them.
Is there something about the way you lead that you know is costing you dearly, but that you haven’t changed in more than a year?
If your team could tell you one thing without any consequences, what do you think they would say?
When was the last time someone told you something uncomfortable and truthful about the way you lead?
What you’re achieving right now—what is it costing you?
Do you have someone you can think out loud with without there being any consequences?
If the third question made you think “it’s been a long time” and the last one made you think “no one,” you’re exactly the kind of person who can get the most out of a coaching process.
Each coaching process is tailored to the individual and agreed upon during an initial, no-obligation conversation. Sessions can be [in person/ online/ both], last around 60 minutes, and take place approximately every two weeks. A typical process lasts between four and six months.
I work mainly with executives, business owners, middle managers, and technical professionals who take on team leadership responsibilities…
The work is not theoretical. At each session, the client brings the objectives they want to work on, and we focus on their real-life situations: we analyze situations they have already experienced to understand what happened, and prepare for those they have coming up (a difficult conversation, a proposal to senior management, a negotiation) while recognizing the impact of their development, both on themselves and on the people around them. Between sessions, they put what they have worked on into practice. That’s where the change happens.
There are a couple of things worth being clear about before you start, whoever you choose to work with:
Ask for an initial conversation before hiring anyone. If someone doesn’t offer you one, that’s a sign.
Agree on what you want to achieve. You don’t need a perfect objective, but you should have a sense of what you would like to be different a few months from now.
A leadership coach makes sense when the issue lies in the way you lead and you want to change it: when you’ve taken on greater responsibility, when there’s a weakness you’ve been avoiding for years, when the results are there but the relationships aren’t, when the personal cost has become unsustainable, or when you have no one to think things through with.
And it doesn’t make sense when the problem is structural, when what you’re missing is a skill that can be learned, when you don’t actually want coaching yourself, or when what you’re going through calls for a different kind of support. In these four situations, hiring a coach only delays the conversation that really needs to happen.
If you’ve read this and thought, “This is happening to me,” that’s exactly the conversation worth having. You can write to me at obiols@coachingbcn.com, and we can talk about it.
Article written by Pol Kasteinecke Serra, SEO Content Strategis (motordecontenidoseo.com).